


Gijinka Kirby but regular Kirby is there to deliver a Certain Letter

by CloudNucleus



Category: Kirby (Video Games), Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Gijinka Kirby meets regular Kirby, Oneshot, and is then invited to Super Smash Bros, they/them Kirby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22711063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudNucleus/pseuds/CloudNucleus
Summary: It's just a normal day in Kirby Gijinka-verse when surprise! Regular Kirby is there and they have a letter for Gijinka Kirby. Super Smash Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Gijinka Kirby & Kirby
Kudos: 8





	Gijinka Kirby but regular Kirby is there to deliver a Certain Letter

The morning sunlight streams in through the window, lighting up the room in a way that’s visible even through my closed eyelids. I rub the sleep from my eyes and sit up, yawning.

“Good morning, world,” I say cheerfully, though still sleepily, as I look around the room. It’s the same as it’s always been - my little dome house, made up of one big, round room. My eyes fall on the refrigerator and I realize I want breakfast.

I hungrily prepare some eggs and toast and sit on the couch to eat them, turning on the TV to see what silly show Dedede’s put on now. 

I’m about to get up to wash my plate when I hear a knock on the door. Turning the TV off, I set down the plate and open the door.

There doesn’t seem to be anyone there. “Hello?” I say as I look around.

“Poyo.”

“Poyo? That’s my wor……. uhhh… who are you?” There’s a little, round, pink creature at my door. They’ve got strangely-shaped blue eyes that sparkle as if they’re filled with stars, and stubby little limbs. Something about them is strangely familiar, though I can’t put my finger on it.

“Kirby!” they say in a cute, babyish voice.

“Yes, that’s me,” I say. “Kirby of the Stars. Who are you?”

They don’t seem to be able to really speak. They point at themself and say “Kirby!” again.

“Oh… is your name Kirby too?” I ask. They nod. “Huh. Well then it’s nice to meet you, fellow Kirby. Where did you come from?” I offer a hand to shake, kneeling down to get closer to the tiny creature’s height. It’s not very effective though - they’re less than a foot tall!

Kirby allows me to take their little round hand in mine and give it a gentle shake as they tilt their head, confused. “Poyo…”

This is so confusing! Maybe I should try a simpler question, something they can answer with a nod or head shake. “Do you know where you are?”

“Poyo…” They hesitate, then nod.

“Do you know where you came from?”

They nod.

“Hm… well, why don’t you come inside? Make yourself comfy. I have dishes to wash but we can keep talking. Maybe you can tell me where you come from,” I offer, stepping aside so Kirby can come in.

They look really, really tiny compared to everything in the room, but they don’t seem to have a problem with it. I watch in amazement as they take in a deep breath of air and  _ float _ up like a balloon, flapping their arms to gain height. They plop down on the couch, taking a seat on a soft, fluffy pillow. I quickly wash my plate, fork and knife, and the pan I cooked the eggs with, then sit down beside them.

“So… how come I’ve never seen anyone like you around before?” I ask.

“Poyo…” They look around, looking very confused.

“This is my house,” I explain.

They tilt their head and point at themself, then around the room. “Poyo… my house,” they repeat.

“No, it’s  _ my _ house,” I say.

“My house… but big!” Kirby spreads their arms as wide as they can.

“Yeah, it’s not sized for small round boys,” I giggle.

“Poyo!” They point at me. “Big Kirby!”

I lean back and stare at them for a while. Something is really weird about this.

I was pretty sure I’d heard there were alternate universes, right? And sometimes they could get mixed up, people from one universe could come to another. “Are you maybe, like, from an alternate dimension or something?” I ask. “It sounds weird, but…”

Kirby nods excitedly, as they point to themself and say “Kirby!” then point to me (“Kirby!”), punctuating it with a “Poyo!”

“We’re the same person…” I realize. “Except I’m human and you’re… what are you, anyway?”

Kirby shrugs. 

“Well, you sure are a cute little round boy,” I tell them. “So, do you need help getting back home?”

They shake their head. “Poyo.”

“Can you tell me why you’re here?”

They pause. After a few seconds, Kirby spits out… a letter? Wow, their mouth is way bigger than it looks.

“For me?” I ask, and when Kirby nods, I pick it up, turning it over. It’s closed with a red wax seal, featuring a circular logo with uneven intersecting lines on it that gives me a strange feeling of deja vu. “Poyo.” I carefully open the envelope and pull out the note inside.

_ Gijinka Kirby, _

_ You are invited to visit the world of Super Smash Brothers! An incredible crossover universe, where fighters from many different video games come together, waits for you. All you need to bring is yourself and your fighting spirit! We excitedly await your arrival. _

_ -Master Hand _

“Ummm… what?” I ask, dumbfounded. “Super Smash Brothers? I guess that’s where that weird Smash copy ability comes from. It’s fun to use, but it really never made any sense, like why is there this one ability that combines a bunch of other abilities?”

“Poyo!” Kirby stands up on their stubby little feet and walks up to the door, looking like they expect me to follow.

“U-uh, okay,” I said, holding the door open for them and following them outside. “If we’re going anywhere, can you give me a couple minutes to change? I’m still in my pajamas.”

Kirby nods and sits beside my house to wait. I hurry back in to take off my pajamas and toss them onto my bed, quickly pulling on my short pink hoodie, red overalls, and pink canvas high-tops. Slipping the letter into my magic backpack and slinging it over my shoulders, I leave the house and lock the door behind me. “All right, let’s go, poyo!” I announce, as Kirby stands up.

They lead me to a strange, swirling, colorful portal of sorts, and motion for me to step in.

“Wait. I’ll be able to get back, right?”

“Poyo,” Kirby confirms, nodding again, then they walk into the portal.

I hesitate for a moment. I’m not sure what this is going to be like, but judging by how excited the other Kirby is about it… it can’t be all bad, right? If something goes wrong, I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it!

So I step into the portal. It feels weird, like for a second I’m not sure I exist… all I know is the colors swirling around me. I think I can see other people in the distance, but I’m not sure who they are and I can’t make out the details of what they look like. It feels like it’s taking a long time, but as I come out the other side, I realize it was probably just a second or two.

The sight that greets me is nearly unbelievable. I’m standing on top of a cloud - something fairly common in Dream Land, but still amazing, as this cloud makes a walkway to a towering mansion, or maybe it could be considered a castle. There’s a bright, golden glow coming from all directions, and the castle reflects the light, almost too bright but it’s actually fine to look at once my eyes adjust for a few seconds.

Kirby runs ahead, and I have to jog to keep up - it’s amazing how fast he can be when he’s so small! We make it to the huge doors of the mansion, which I can now see is made of off-white bricks. The doors are emblazoned with a very large version of the symbol on the letter’s wax seal. 

He can’t reach the handle of the doors, but to my surprise, when he knocks on the door, he suddenly grows to a height of about three or four feet! The doors slowly, dramatically open, and Kirby and I step inside.

“WELCOME, GIJINKA KIRBY!” a voice booms, filling the entire room - and it’s a big room, with an incredibly high ceiling - higher than it looks from the outside - and a crystal chandelier. There are a few unfamiliar people sitting at tables near the edge of the room, and a few others standing around and talking to each other. Some are eating or drinking. There are windows along one wall that I can’t really see much through from this distance, but I think they lead to a courtyard with a nice stone walkway surrounded by grass, where I can see even more people. Some of the people are very obviously not human - some look almost like animals, but  _ not quite, _ and some are completely alien, like the little round-boy Kirby.

“Wow…” I breathe, taking in the sight, then compose myself a little and call, “What does gijinka mean?”

“YOU ARE AN ALTERNATE, HUMANOID VERSION OF KIRBY. THEY HAVE BEEN A FIGHTER IN THE SUPER SMASH BROS. TOURNAMENTS SINCE THE FIRST. NOW, I ASK IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN THEM.”

“Uhh… who are you? And what are these tournaments?”

“THESE ARE EXPECTED QUESTIONS. IF YOU FOLLOW KIRBY, I CAN TALK TO YOU IN PERSON, AND I CAN ANSWER THEM MORE THOROUGHLY.”

“Um, okay,” I say, looking down at Kirby. “Lead the way, poyo.”

“Poyo,” Kirby replies, waving a hand in a “follow me” motion. They walk down a hallway off to one side, and I fall into step beside and slightly behind them. We pass many, many doors, and at one point we step into an elevator and ride it up a few floors, and we come to a much quieter hallway. There’s soft carpet on the ground and plain white walls with a few doors. We pass by a couple of them until we reach a door with a sign beside it that clearly reads “Master Hand’s Office”.

Kirby and I knock on the door at the exact same time, with the same knocking pattern, and the voice from before - albeit quieter and less dramatic - answers, “Come in!”

I’m not sure how I would have prepared myself for what I see on the other side of the door as I open it - except that I’ve seen this being before. He fought me in the mirror world.

He’s a giant, floating hand, wearing a white glove. He’s floating behind a desk, for which there’s no chair, because he couldn’t exactly sit. There’s a big computer with a big monitor on the desk, and a huge monitor covers the wall behind him. The wall monitor is off at the moment.

_ Master Hand _ makes a “come here” motion, directing me and Kirby to sit on the two chairs in front of his desk, opposite himself. I sit down, feeling a little bit awkward.

“Poyo - um, hello, Master Hand,” I say. “I, um… saw you in the Mirror World like, more than 15 years ago, I think.”

“Hmmm… the multiverse is always intriguing, even to me.” He chuckles strangely. “Welcome, gijinka Kirby. I am Master Hand, the organizer and announcer of the Super Smash Brothers tournaments. I see Kirby has delivered my letter to you.”

“Poyo!” Kirby confirms, grinning.

“Yeah, it’s right here,” I say, pulling it out of my backpack.

“Then you have received your invitation to become a fighter in the next tournament. Would you like to join the ranks of the Super Smash Bros?”

“Um… I have no idea what that means. Some sort of fighting tournament? Sounds cool, but I haven’t even seen one of them before. Do you think I could, like, watch a few matches or something?” I ask.

“Yes, I will allow you three days to make the decision. Feel free to roam the Smash Mansion and converse with the other Smashers. In the main hall, there is a monitor that shows when the battles take place, and who will be fighting in them. It will also show each match in real time.”

I let out a brief sigh of relief. “Thanks. Should I uh, come back here when I’ve made a decision?”

“Yes. In the meantime, you may come and go as you please. The portal will remain in your world for this time.”

“Oh… I think that’ll be really weird for the people in my world, though. I’ll try to decide quickly!” I said.

“Then I await your reply,” Master Hand said. “You are dismissed.”

I quickly slipped the invitation back into my backpack and stood up. “All right, see you soon! Nice to properly meet you.” Instinctively I offer a handshake, which Master Hand accepts, though it’s pretty awkward because of the huge size difference between him and my hand.

“So, what now?” I ask as I close the office door.

“Poyo, poyo! Eat! Food!” Kirby grabs my hand and runs down the hall. They’re faster now that they’re bigger, so I really do have to also run to keep up.

We go back to the ground floor, where Kirby leads me to another room connected to the main one. Looking around, I realize that it’s a cafeteria, and I grin. It’s been, what, half an hour since I ate last? There’s always room for more food!

We run up to the counter. There’s lots of amazing-looking food both behind the glass on the counter and on shelves at the back of the room. A teenager with messy black hair and glasses is standing there, looking a bit bored until we approach.

“Oh, hello. Are you the new challenger?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m Kirby. Um, gijinka Kirby.”

“Joker! Poyo!” Kirby greets the boy, jumping up and down and waving.

“Your name’s Joker?” I ask.

“It’s my codename. My name’s actually Ren Amamiya, but Joker’s fine.” He chuckles. “So, what’ll you two have?”

I look up at the menu, displayed on a big monitor on the wall above Joker. “Hm… maybe I’ll have some dessert! Oh - wait. What currency do you guys even use here? It’s kind of an alternate dimension, sooo…”

“This is all complementary,” Joker explains.

“I’ll have a vanilla ice cream sundae, then! With chocolate syrup, rainbow sprinkles, and a cherry on top! Please!” I say.

“Poyo poyo!” Kirby points at me.

“You want the same thing?”

“Poyo!” They nod.

“Oh, by the way, Joker, I’m just wondering. Are you a fighter, or are you just the person who works in the cafeteria?” I ask.

“Everyone takes turns. Today it’s my job, tomorrow it’s Hero’s turn, you get the idea,” he explains.

“Oh, that makes sense,” I say as Joker gets to work on the ice cream.

“So, Kirby, how long have you been here?” I’m trying to pass the time with small talk.

“Poy… since begin! begin… ning. Beginning, poyo!”

“Huh. That must be quite a while. When was the beginning?”

“Um… twent year. Poyo.” They shake their head. “Twenty years! Poyo. Twenty one years.”

They really are like a baby, huh… I wonder why they can barely speak but I’m a teenager. Alternate universes sure are weird. I’d question why they’re still a baby after 21 years but hey, I age slowly too. It’s been almost 30 years since I was created and I’m still physically 16.

The ice cream is ready and Kirby takes their plate in one hand, pulling a cell phone out from their mouth with the other. “Poyo,” they say, quickly texting ( _ somehow _ managing it without actual fingers) someone on the phone as they step away from the counter. I catch a glimpse of the screen; Kirby’s just sent  _ come meet my new friend! in cafeteria! _ I wonder who they’re talking to.

Their phone makes a sound that’s vaguely familiar but I can’t place it - I guess it’s a notification sound. They read the message, then put away their phone and lead me to a neaby table. It’s got a nice wooden surface with comfy chairs, and I sit down, hang my backpack on the back of the chair, and begin shoveling ice cream into my mouth. “Mmm! This is so good!” I declare between mouthfuls.

Beside me, Kirby opens their mouth and sucks up the ice cream from the bowl, not even pausing to chew. I realize now that they didn’t even take a spoon - I guess they always eat like that.

“Hey! I just realized your vacuum-mouth thing is just like my backpack!” I said.

“Poyo?” Kirby asks, tilting their head.

I open my backpack to demonstrate, holding the straps and focusing. It sucks in the air around it until I decide it should stop. Inside my backpack is what appears as a starry sky, and it can hold a near-infinite amount of matter. I reach into the void, and the fact that I know what I want to pull out makes it appear in my hand. I remove the Smash Bros. invitation from my pack, wave it dramatically in the air, and put it back. “Same as you, huh?”

Kirby thinks for a moment, then nods.

“Hey-a, Kirby!” a voice calls. I look up and see a man in a red hat with a mustache run into the room, waving. “And hey-a, new Kirby!”

“Mar-o!” Kirby calls. “Poyo poyo!”

“Ma-ri-o,” the man corrects them. “Welcome-a, new fighter!” he greets me.

“Mario?” I say. “I’m Kirby. But I guess around here I’m called Gijinka Kirby, right?”

“Yes, that’s-a what I’ve heard,” Mario says. “It’s-a nice to meet you, Gijinka Kirby!”

“Are you who the other Kirby was texting earlier?” I ask.

“Me and a few others. We have a group-a chat!” He holds up a cell phone of his own. “They said they-a want to introduce the original 12 fighters to the new one!”

“Poyo po-poyo!” Kirby agrees.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you too, Mario. Are the others coming soon?”

Kirby nods. “Poyo!”

Sure enough, it takes about five minutes for the others to arrive at the cafeteria, right about when I’ve finished my ice cream. To my surprise, I recognize one of them - vaguely. “...Samus?” She’s been to Dream Land before - I’m pretty sure I remember fighting some Metroids for her.

“Yes?” she says.

“You gave me a Heart Star, like years ago when I was getting ready to fight Zero!”

“I don’t remember seeing you before. I know I went to the other Kirby’s world once, though,” Samus explains.

“Huh… alternate dimensions again, I guess. I wasn’t the one who came first, was I?” I muse. It’s kind of existential crisis-inducing and I try not to think about it. Instead I look over the other Kirby’s friends. I notice a boy in a striped shirt and red baseball cap that also look familiar to me, though I know I haven’t met him before - his outfit just reminds me of my ESP ability. There’s also a man who looks similar to Mario but taller and wearing green; a large ape wearing a tie; a boy with pointed ears, a sword on his back, and an outfit similar to my Sword ability; a small, cute green dinosaur of some sort; an anthropomorphic fox with a gun strapped to his belt; a yellow mouse-like creature with a lightning bolt-shaped tail; a tall, strong-looking man in blue clothes with a scarf and a bright red helmet; and a round, pink creature who looks similar to the other Kirby except they have cat-like ears.

“Wow, that’s a lot of people! You have a lot of friends, huh?” I ask Kirby, and they nod enthusiastically, holding their stubby arms out wide.

It takes me a while to learn everyone’s names, but I do. Eventually Mario asks, “Hey-a, Gijinka Kirby. Do you want-a to watch a match, maybe join-a in later?”

“Sure!” I agree. “Maybe someone besides Kirby can explain the rules? They’re not the best at, uh, talking.”

“I’ll-a do it!” Mario’s brother Luigi volunteers. 

“Thanks, Luigi,” I laugh nervously. 

“You’re-a welcome!”

“Let’s-a go to the teleporter room and choose a stage! You versus me, Kirby?” Mario says. Kirby nods. We quickly set our plates down at the counter beside Joker and follow Mario down a hallway.

This hallway runs along the side of the courtyard, which from this distance I can tell is very pretty. There are some trees lining the paths and the grass is a beautiful green, reminding me of the rolling hills of Cookie Country back home. There are also a few glass tables and wicker chairs, covered by umbrellas in the middle of each table.

We quickly reach a large set of doors - not as big as the entrance, but still very big. We all walk through the doorway and enter a very big, strange room. It’s kind of dark, and there are a few huge monitors on one wall. There are also many strange platforms that looked very high-tech and were decorated with glowing blue lights - eight small ones, and one really big one on the side of the room opposite the monitors that could fit way more. I notice that the ceiling is very, very high, to accommodate for a balcony over the top of the big teleporter. I can’t see what’s on it, but I think it’s chairs, because I can see that there’s a particularly big monitor at the level of the balcony. Maybe people can watch the battles from there.

“So, what-a stage?” Mario asks Kirby. Kirby thinks for a moment, walking up to a long counter along the wall under the screens. I step closer so I can see what they’re doing, as they pick up what seems to be some sort of remote controller with joysticks. It has a Super Smash Bros. logo on it.

Kirby presses a button on the controller and one of the monitors comes on. I can hear a cool song coming from… somewhere. I guess there are speakers all over the room. They navigate some sort of menu on the screen, and I realize they’re choosing the rules for the battle. They go with a default setting, then select a stage called “Battlefield.” Very simple name, but I guess that  _ is _ what it is.

Once the stage is selected, Kirby and Mario each stand on one of the small platforms. As they do, the screen automatically shows their names and pictures. I notice that the list of fighters on the screen is  _ huge _ \- each one gets a little picture and that’s all that can fit. I don’t have time to count them all!

“Luigi, how many fighters  _ are _ there!?” I ask.

“If I remember-a correctly, seventy-six!” he replies.

My jaw drops. “Wow…”

“Come-a on, Gijinka Kirby! Let’s-a get on the audience teleporter and watch-a the battle!” Luigi says, running to stand on the big platform. I jog over and join him, shaking with excitement. This is so cool!

“Get-a ready!” Mario shouts.

“Poyo!” Kirby adds.

“Watch-a carefully, Gijinka Kirby!” Luigi says.

“Got it!” I say, as suddenly my vision is filled with a swirl of blue and white light. It feels similar to the portal I went through to get here, but it’s also different. I soon find myself, along with the 10 original fighters who aren’t about to battle, standing on a floating platform in the sky. There are seats behind us and I quickly sit in the front row, Luigi taking a seat to my right and the round pink creature Jigglypuff (who I learned is, along with the electric mouse Pikachu, a member of a species called Pokemon) to my left. I hold my backpack in my lap and sit back to take in the scenery.

In front of us is another floating platform, this one completely flat aside from a weird structure on the back but also intricately detailed. Above it, there are three smaller platforms, and far, far below, I can see waterfalls, buildings, and giant crystals jutting out of the ground, looking almost like ice. The platforms are somewhat ruined and overgrown, but it really just adds to how beautiful this place is.

Once we’re all settled, which doesn’t take long since there are only 11 of us, Master Hand’s deep, booming voice announces the start of the battle. I can feel the echoes of its sound thunder in my chest. “THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!”

“Wait, does Master Hand do this for every battle?” I ask.

“No, it’s a recording,” Luigi says. “He only does-a live announcements for really important battles.”

“That makes a lot more sense,” I say.

Above the battlefield, as Luigi and I talk, Mario and Kirby arrive, standing on the teleporter platforms that were in the teleporter room. As the recording announces “GO!”, they begin to fight.

Kirby seems to have acquired the Smash ability at some point. Or something like it. I watch them suck Mario into their mouth, as I can do with my backpack, but as they swallow, Mario somehow appears right beside them as if he hasn’t just been eaten. I wonder if that’s just a Smash Bros. thing or if this version of me is just incapable of keeping his enemies inside his void-stomach. Kirby takes a copy ability from Mario though, acquiring his red cap and throwing fireballs back at him.

Luigi quickly explains that the goal of the game is to knock your opponents off the battlefield, which gets easier as they take more damage. He also assures me that the fighters aren’t hurt for real - they can respawn as many times as they want since it’s a time battle, and when the game’s over all the injuries they might have sustained go away. 

The battle goes on. It’s set to last for one minute and thirty seconds, and during this time Kirby and Mario are each knocked out a couple times. Finally, Master Hand’s voice counts down, “FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! TIME!” and the fight has ended.

“MARIO WINS!” the recording announces. It seemed to have been a pretty close match.

“So, whaddaya think?” Luigi asks.

“That was awesome!” I enthuse.

His phone beeps - a notification sound different from Kirby’s - and he checks the text he just received. “Mario wants-a to know if you want-a to see another match,” he says.

“One more,” I say.

Luigi texts Mario back, and soon enough, another battle is underway. This time, I pay close attention to the fighters’ every move. Sometimes Kirby inhales Mario and spits him off the edge of the platform, then floats back to safety while Mario can’t make it back. I wish I could do that.

Kirby wins this match, and after they’ve done a little dance (hey, I dance when I win a fight too!), the other audience members stand up. I take the hint and stand up too, which is good because the next thing I know, I’m back on the teleporter platform back inside the mansion.

“That. Was. Incredible! Poyo! You guys looked like you were having a lot of fun!” I cheer as soon as we’ve all been teleported. 

“Poyo!” Kirby agrees, waving their arms and bouncing.

“So, do you want-a to join the Super Smash Bros?” Mario asks.

I only give it a second of thought. “Yeah! And then, I challenge you, Kirby!”

“Poyo!” They nod.

“I guess I’ll go talk to Master Hand, then,” I say. “I’ll be back!”

“Poyo poyo!” Kirby waves to me as I smile at them, walking out of the room.

It’s a bit tricky to remember where to go, but fortunately I make it back to Master Hand’s office without getting lost. I knock, a bit nervously.

“Come in,” Master Hand says.

I open the door and step into the room. I have to admit, I’m still really not used to seeing Master Hand. But to be fair, I’ve fought literal gods, so I figure I’ll get used to it soon.

Now, though, I’m not sure what to say. “I’ve made my decision,” I tell him.

“Yes?”

“I want to join.”

He doesn’t have a face, but somehow I feel like he’s smiling. “Then welcome, Fighter Number Eighty-Two, to the Super Smash Brothers universe.”

About ten minutes later, I make it back to the teleporter room. It was pretty simple for Master Hand to add me to the roster - he took a picture of me for the fighter select menu, recorded himself announcing my name, and, as he typed something using a very large keyboard (surprisingly fast, for being a single giant hand), he explained the rules of the battles to me, going a bit more in-depth than Luigi had but honestly, the rules weren’t complicated.

I burst through the doors, shouting “I’m in! I’m in the tournament! Let’s go!”

The original 12 fighters are waiting for me on the audience teleporter, except Kirby, who was standing next to the monitor. They hold out the controller to me as everyone cheers. “Poyo!” I exclaim as I take the controller and step back to look at the monitor, going through the menus as Master Hand instructed. I select the same rules as the battles I saw before, and take a couple minutes to look at the stages I can choose from. There are so many! I eventually settle on the Fountain of Dreams. Master Hand said it’s not the real Fountain of Dreams, just a recreation, but it looks nice and familiar to me, plus it’s pretty, so I think it’s a good choice.

After I’ve selected the stage, I look at all the fighters’ pictures on the screen. There, at the bottom right corner, is me, my fluffy pink hair and bright blue eyes shining at me from the screen. My face almost hurts from grinning as I step onto the fighter teleporter on the left. The recording that Master Hand just made for me plays as my picture appears in the “Player 1” spot at the bottom of the screen, “GIJINKA KIRBY!” Kirby takes the teleporter next to me (“KIRBY!”), and with an excited glance around the room, I make sure that everyone’s on the audience teleporter (there are some other people there too - I’ll have to introduce myself later!)... and then I press start.

I’m whisked away to the replica Fountain of Dreams, and suddenly I can feel the cold air surrounding me. I can feel myself imbued with a strange power, which Master Hand explained earlier was protection from permanent harm, an ability to be launched exceptionally far, and of course, my Smash moveset. Plus, I can double jump now, how cool is that?! I can’t fly like non-gijinka Kirby, but I’m heavier and harder to knock around, as well as being a bit physically stronger since I have actual arms.

Master Hand’s countdown to start the match is even louder from here. “THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!”

The platform I’m standing on disappears, and Kirby and I begin to fight. I know I can’t copy them since they’re still the same person as me, but I still have my other moves.

I decide to start off strong with my hammer, but before I can execute the attack, Kirby grabs me and throws me into the air! I take a moment to steady myself, putting up a red bubble-like shield around me, another cool new Smash Bros. power. I can’t keep it up forever though, and eventually I have to fight back.

The battle is, as before, set to go on for a minute and a half, and in that short amount of time, I manage to lauch Kirby off the stage once, while they lauch me five whole times. I guess I’m really not good at this yet, am I? I’m just not used to it yet.

We fight a few more times, and I manage to win the last battle! I do my victory dance as the recorded announcement “GIJINKA KIRBY WINS!” plays, along with a song I like to call the “Kirby Dance Music” because I like to dance to it! Kirby politely, even happily, applauds.

Eventually, I get a bit tired and very hungry, so we call it quits and head over to the cafeteria. There are more people here now - I guess they’re hungry too! The line is longer, but it’s not too bad. I hurry over to the end of the line before someone else can and (im)patiently await my chance to get food.

I order two large double cheeseburgers and a heaping pile of french fries and make my way to a table, where Kirby is sitting with a bunch of people I hadn’t met before. However, two of them are  _ strangely _ familiar, which I understand when they introduce themselves.

Apparently, in the non-gijinka world, King Dedede is a blue penguin-like creature, though his outfit is actually pretty similar to the way it is in my world, and his hammer is identical. Meta Knight is a round blue being not unlike Kirby, who wears a fancy-looking cape and pauldrons along with a mask that resembles the helmet of the Meta Knight I know. Their voices are both the same as my friends back home. “This is so weird,” I say to myself.

Later, I’m taking a walk around the courtyard when Master Hand approaches me.

“Oh, hello!” I say. I wasn’t expecting to see him out here…

“Hello, gijinka Kirby. There are two more orders of business we must attend to. Firstly, do you have a long-distance communication device of any sort?”

“Uh, yeah, I have a cell phone,” I answer, pulling it out of my overalls pocket. It’s got a big touch screen and a pink case to protect it, decorated with a couple of star-shaped stickers.

“Good. I will close the portal that connects this world to yours, and install an application on your cell phone that will allow you to come here whenever you would like.”

Wow, he was very direct about that. I didn’t think he was going to give my phone a virus, though. “O-okay? What do you need me to do?”

“Follow me to my office.”

“Okay.”

As I followed him, I tried to make conversation. “Poyo. Master Hand? Uh, I’m just wondering, where’s Crazy Hand? I fought him alongside you in the Mirror World once…”

“I do not know what this ‘Mirror World’ is, but Crazy Hand is within the Mansion. He doesn’t interact with the fighters as often as I do.”

“Huh.”

We make it to his office and he holds the door open for me. I stand beside his desk and look at my phone, turning on the display. Huh, apparently the WiFi signal here is really good.

Master Hand floats around to look at the computer on his desk, turning it on and typing something. “The portal is now closed. Let me see your phone.”

“Okay.” I set it down on the desk in front of him. “Sorry if it’s hard to press the buttons, they’re not really sized for you, haha.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I don’t need to use your touch screen.” Surprisingly gently, he plugs a USB cable into the phone, and the other end into his computer. A few seconds later, he disconnects the cable and says, “Done. Try opening the application.”

I pick up my phone and scroll through my apps, noticing a new icon that looks like the Super Smash Bros. logo. I tap it and find a button that says “ENTER SMASH UNIVERSE”, and as I scroll down I realize that this app also functions as a chat room for all the fighters. It’s still hard to contain my joy at seeing myself on the roster… 

“Oh nice! Thanks!” I say. “But this is for entering the Smash universe. How do I leave?”

“If you walk through the portal outside the Mansion, you will return to the last place you were when you entered this universe.” Master Hand says. “Second order of business - every fighter has a room in which they may rest and store their belongings. Think of it like a hotel. I have finished creating your room, and I can lead you to it.”

“Oh wow! That’s awesome! Yeah, show me, please!”

We go down the elevator from the fourth floor to the third, where Master Hand leads me to a door labeled  **82 - GIJINKA KIRBY** . From seemingly out of nowhere he produces a key, the top of which is shaped like the Smash logo, and hands it to me. I notice that it’s got the number 82 etched in the back of the top part. I grin and unlock the door.

“I will see you later, Gijinka Kirby. Feel free to come to my office if you need to.” Master Hand waved briefly, then floated down the hall into the elevator.

“Huh. He’s surprisingly friendly when he’s not fighting me…” I say to myself as I step into the room.

It really is like a hotel room. There’s a mini-fridge that will absolutely never fit all the food I’d want for even a day, but hey, at least it’s something! I quickly find that the bed is perfect for jumping on and also very comfy for sleeping, which makes up for the lack of fridge space (especially since there’s already the cafeteria downstairs). There’s also a big dresser, a TV, a controller like the one in the teleporter room, a little bathroom off to the side, a couch, and a desk with a chair. I plop my backpack down on the chair, then lie on my back on the bed with my phone.

I think my friends might worry about me if I’m gone for too long, so I text them. It’s hard to decide what exactly to say, so I settle on,  _ I’m in the Super Smash Brothers universe right now! It’s hard to explain what that is, but it’s an alternate dimension where people from a bunch of different worlds come together and fight for sport. It’s totally safe, though, so don’t worry! I can come home any time I want, so text me if you need me. See you later! _

_ But for now, _ I think to myself,  _ I’m going to have such a great time. _

**Author's Note:**

> okay! so this idea came to me randomly as i was lying in bed and i was almost late to school because of it.  
> have some author's notes!  
> -i literally did not read over this at all so forgive me if there are any errors. i will probably go back and edit it later  
> -joker runs the cafeteria on this particular day because i like joker (though i think it would be cool if he had appeared more, but that's my fault so i can't complain lol) but also because in persona 5 he canonically runs a coffee shop sometimes  
> -i don't like writing, or, more importantly, reading fight scenes, so i didn't really go into detail with the fights. this is a crack fic anyway so if you want a good fight scene you probably already knew you were in the wrong place  
> -gijinka kirby is fighter #82 because after all the dlc fighters have come out, that's gonna be the next number. that is, if i mathed right  
> -we have established that floor 1 of the smash mansion is the cafeteria and courtyard and "teleporter room" and stuff. floor 3 is the bedrooms. floor 4 is master hand's office and mysterious other rooms. not stated in this fic is that floor 2 has a gym, game rooms, and various other forms of recreation  
> -i wasn't sure how to end this fic, sorry about that  
> -this is my longest oneshot and i'm actually very, very proud of it, badly written as it probably is.
> 
> thanks for reading!


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